Recently Read - mo'adore: cruelty-free beauty ∙ vegan food ∙ glasgow/dundee lifestyle

18 April 2015

Recently Read

books sex and relationships

Two years ago I made a resolution to read the books that had been on my Amazon wishlist for far too long. I didn't get that very far and I made a resolution this year that I was finally going to get back on it. In order to get through this list as fast as possible I knew to start with some books which I I would devour quickly. So I ordered some books on one of my favourite topics: sex and relationships. 

The 5 Love Languages
I first found out about the concept of the five love languages from Gala Darling way back in 2010, and it's been an idea I've supported ever since. Even so much so that when I'm dating someone in a serious capacity I'll bring it up (as there is a love language I identify with and if it's missing I lose interest). The idea is that everyone has a primary way in which they communicate their love: touch, words, quality time, acts of service or gifts. All these things are important but the idea is that individuals have a primary love language, and identifying it and your partners will help your relationship survive past the 'honeymoon' phase. I however didn't like how it suggested that it could save unhealthy marriages and there was one anecdote which presented a husband who was (in my eyes) emotionally abusive but the five love languages sorted that out ("You deserve this treatment you're not speaking his love language you silly cow!" might of well have been said). 

Thanks For Coming
This one certainly got a bit of attention when I added it to my GoodReads account! Essentially the author has never had an orgasm and sets out to have one. But this being a book means that she doesn't exactly just go to a registered sex therapist and get to it. She instead takes part in experiments, attends fetish clubs and pays money for a highly sensual massage. Whilst this book isn't directly feminist, there are undertones and nods to the way society treats female sexuality which means it would still make a good book for a feminist book club. 

I actually give this book 10/10 and if you're also a keen bean on sex and relationships this is a must read.  

I Used to Miss Him...But My Aim is Improving
This book has been hanging around my Amazon whishlist since my last break-up (because it was recommended by one of the best How to Get Over a Break-Up post you'll ever read) but alas I was a skint student at the time so it never got purchased. Even though it's now been years since I've had to mend a broken heart I thought I'd still give it a read. And it's a mixed bag. It felt at times as though it was written by a teenager going through their first break-up, not a well adjusted adult who just needs some advice and encouragement. When you're going through a bad break-up the temptation to egg their car can be high enough without some 'diva' guide encouraging you to make mutual friends pick sides. However some of the later chapters which deal with the later stages of moving on are better and contain a perfect metaphor for a healthy relationship. It's called the 'dating diet' where your relationship is a delicious chocolate cake, and all other areas of your life (career, friends, family, hobbies) are a delicious salad. Keep them in balance! 

Have you read any of these books? Have any of them piqued your interest? 


6 comments :

  1. Thanks For Coming sounds really interesting, as does I Used To Miss Him. I think I'll be adding tnem both to my wishlist!

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    1. Thanks for Coming is a great book! And very humorous!

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  2. Thanks For Coming is definitely on mine now! Wish it was for Kindle as that's how I keep track of my to-reads now. Yes, by buying them. Or at least sample chapters...

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    1. Heh, it was already on my wish list... which I'm sure dates back to you adding it to Goodreads! x

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  3. I love the tittle of the last book but just by that I can kinda tell it's not exactly mature well-balanced information ha! I used to love relationship/dating books and columns and I do think they are helpful but they are very black and white and don't take into account if a person has any personality/developmental disorders or past mental traumas etc. that might effect their behaviour, and as you say if they are being abusive it's really not your fault!

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    1. That is very true about dating books. I have dated people with mental health problems and it can be a whole different ballpark. Plus, I have my own negative dating experiences with arsehole-exes which can still cause trust issues etc.

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