Today is International Women's Day. Which you would think would be my favourite day of the year. But, meh. Can take or leave it.

I'm going to sound like an anti-capitalist hag (which I am) but it's commercialised and lost a lot of its original feminist meaning.

According to Wikipedia:

"After women gained suffrage in Soviet Russia in 1917, March 8 became a national holiday there. The day was then predominantly celebrated by the socialist movement and communist countries until it was adopted in 1975 by the United Nations."

Today I've seen a lot of memes, inspirational quotes, and people laughing at Richard Herring. A lot of it is fluffy. A lot of it is posted by brands looking for more engagement on social media. A lot of it is not really inciting any actual change or recognising the big fight we still have on our hands.

I am 100% a believer that fluffy pop-culture feminism has its place. It's great at catching people's attention and creates a non-threatening introduction to social justice. Just as much as you shouldn't teach someone to read with a copy of Wuthering Heights, when you're introducing someone to left-wing politics you start with something like fairer taxes, or free higher education. You probably shouldn't storm in there with "most crime is created by inequality and prison is shit, sex work is real work, meat is murder, white people shouldn't wear dreads, and if you're a white, straight, male you probably have done some oppressive shit in your time. Oh, and I'm going to spit on you because you don't know what demisexual or polyamorous means".

That would scare people, and you don't change people's mind by making them feel stupid or defensive.

I might be a pure radical lefty now, but I started out a centrist. I even voted Liberal Democrats once upon a time ahahahahahahahah. Oh, my.

But I grew and learned and I'm here. Heck, I accept that I probably still have blind spots. And that's why I read about 5 non-fiction books a month trying to unlearn oppressive shit.

While fluffy feminism is a great introduction, that's where its usefulness ends. If we want to really pull down the shackles and dismantle patriarchy, we have to get radical. That means education, organisation, and tackling all kinds of oppression (because they interlinked).

One of my favourite internet people Sophie worded it perfectly:

If you’re #InternationalWomensDay doesn’t cater to trans women, queer women, non-binary folk, AFAB folk, women with disabilities, women of colour, older women, fat women, poor women and womxn then it’s worthless. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

— Sophie 🏳️‍🌈 (@OnceUponASophie) March 8, 2019

Fluffy pop-culture feminism rarely covers any issue that doesn't relate to white, middle-class, heterosexual, thin, monogamous, cis-gendered women. Not saying that issues such as childcare, short skirts, women in sport, or leadership opportunities for university educated women aren't important - but they only scratch the surface and already receive a lot of airtime.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: if your social justice activism only focuses on issues that affect you, then you're doing it wrong (read my review of Hot Feminist, where I originally touched upon this).

That means giving a shit about issues that might affect lots of other women but not yourself. If we want the men to take our issues seriously (because every social justice movement needs allies with privilege) then we need to take the issues that affect under-represented groups of women seriously. Read a memoir by a woman of colour. Ask people their pronouns instead of assuming. Remember that bisexuals exist. Respect someone's right to be fat. Donate money to a charity that supports sex work. Stop judging young mums. Share an article by a disabled woman. Say fuck you to capitalism.

Sharing a cutesy quote on Instagram about girls supporting girls isn't really doing anything.

I'm a big fan of the saying "the personal is political" and this is my favourite analysis of its meaning is (also from Wikipedia):

"The personal reflects the political status quo (with the implication that the personal should be examined to provide insight into the political); the personal serves the political status quo; one can make personal choices in response to or protest against the political status quo; ... one's personal choices reveal or reflect one's personal politics; one should make personal choices that are consistent with one's personal politics; personal life and personal politics are indistinguishable."

To me, social justice slips into every area of my life. From always voting for a left-wing party. To only being friends with people who share my political values. To boycotting beauty brands that test on animals. To my commitment to using non-violent communication in my personal relationships. Even just being nice to waiting staff. And definitely my decision to be vulnerable on the internet and share my stories.

All while also recognising that some of these decisions can only be made thanks to my privilege as a middle-class, white, university-educated, cis-gendered woman.

A big part of finding your own place in the social justice movement is recognising your own privilege and knowing when to sit the fuck down. Supporting trans women does not means speaking over the top of trans women. It means listening to their stories, amplifying their voices, and not using slurs (and probably other stuff too, I'm not an expert). You'll never see me write a blog on trans issues (or any issue that doesn't affect me) because what the fuck do I know about trans issues? I'd just be another cis-gendered woman clogging up the conversation.

And it means challenging yourself. This is the part where a lot of people get defensive. Changing the world does not mean shouting about how shit everyone else is and acting like your shit don't stink. We've all been subjected to the same social conditioning, albeit some more than others, so we hold oppressive views and have done oppressive stuff. I've dressed up as a Native American for Halloween, I used to judge fat people, and I got weirdly angry about teen mums. I have zero time for social justice warriors who can't admit their own problematic bullshit. It's political Nice Guy Syndrome.

I became the woke bitch I am through years of active unlearning, reading a fuck ton of feminist non-fiction, and calling out my own bullshit.

In other words: I wasn't born this way, baby.

I know this blog won't win me many party invites. But I'm not here for those anyway. It's the revolution I want an invitation to. Or I'll just turn up. But, what I know is that the path to the revolution isn't lined by pink glitter and corporate slogans of female empowerment. It's dirty, and it's uncomfortable. It might make you cry and shake with anger. But I think there's an Instagram quote somewhere that a rainbow only shines after rain?! Something like that.

Today, on International Women's Day do one thing to initiate radical change - whether it's within yourself or for the wider world. The patriarchy won't dismantle itself, no matter how many cutesy Instagram quotes you share.

Peace x

Despite my status as a bookworm, I've never written a full review of a book on my blog. I post them often on my Instagram and on my GoodReads account. But my blog? Nah. I usually only require two paragraphs to say what I need to say and to provide other bookworms an indication on whether that book is something they need in their life or not.

Then along came Hot Feminist by Polly Vernon. Boy, do I have some opinions that won't fit into a Instagram caption.

If you're not familiar with the title: it caused a big stir when it was released. The premise of the book is that women can give a shit about their appearance while still fighting the patriarchy (fair enough). Polly was accused of being a middle-class, white women who had her head in the clouds with no understanding of 'real' feminist issues (also: fair enough, but we'll get to that). She was then subjected to quite a bit of hate on Twitter (never ever fair enough, respected debate is welcome but vilifying someone for a book is not something I can get behind).

I was drawn to this book because I am a firm believer that feminine and feminist are not mutually exclusive. I for one will definitely be at the revolution, and I will be bringing my winged eyeliner and lipgloss with me. Saying that, feminine women do sit in a privileged position above, say, butches or tomboys. More masculine women challenge the status quo simply by existing. Femme women? Yeah, not as much. While we do face some unique problems (street harassment and, if you're a queer femme-woman like myself, erasure of an important part of your identity) liking make-up is hardly revolutionary act within itself (but women who like make-up can still be revolutionary in other ways).

I hoped Polly's book would expand on the ideas I briefly introduced above with research and anecdotes. Maybe interview a feminist scholar? Or a handful of femme women? Maybe even a femme women who identifies as queer? Or a trans woman?

Perhaps an analysis of marketing techniques wielded by the global beauty industry? Or a history of how lipstick came to be?

No, it was pretty much just a personal rant about not wanting her own personal experiences and definition of feminism challenged.

Here's the thing about social justice: it's not just about you. That's not how it works. Yes, you'll have your pet issues that are probably fuelled by personal hardship (like me banging on about bisexual issues, or how awful men are on Tinder). But in order to actually fucking change the world, you need to think bigger picture and actually give a shit about issues that have fuck all affect on you. Otherwise, your fight is for nothing. Or we only end up fixing issues that impact middle-class, white, feminine women.

I was once a feminist who couldn't see past her own experiences. I think most of us probably were at some point. It took me ages to get around the whole white-people-not-being-allowed-to-have-dreads thing. There are probably still a lot of other things I say and do that are oppressive as shit, but these days I do stop to listen to the experiences of others. And if I was going to write a book about feminism I'd sure as hell have some other people from different backgrounds look over it before I sent it off to bookshops. Or maybe I wouldn't write it; as we already have enough books written about the struggle of middle-class, white women.

Polly even ends up in cultural appropriation territory twice, and mis-uses the term OCD. Not encouraging people to view other cultures as fashion inspiration and not being a dick about mental health is Social Justice 101.

She also doesn't use trigger warnings.

But I do. So here is one big trigger warning for sexual assault and emotional abuse.

[TRIGGER WARNING]

Polly Vernon speaks openly about an assault made on her when she was a teenager and the way it impacted her. She also touches upon an emotionally abusive relationship. She doesn't go into detail about the second one, but that's okay because people shouldn't be forced to share their stories if they're not comfortable (or safe) doing so.

This chapter was fabulous and was one of the best discussions around sexual assault that I've read (even if it didn't start with a trigger warning).

The reason it was one of the best chapters in the book and entire fucking world was that it included all assault. No assault is worse than another. It hit me hard because it's one of the few times where I feel as though my experience of assault is included and accepted.

I've never spoken openly about my experience of sexual assault. But I'm a women, so you had probably guessed I must have had a story tucked away somewhere.

I've been subjected to the usual groping in nightclubs, been called a whore for not accepting a drink, and even had a male 'friend' make up rumours that we were getting close so other men would stay away from me (that was a fun time). I mean, if I won't love him then I'm not allowed to love anyone.

But I came out unscathed and had no lasting emotional wounds.

However, I do have an experience that still makes me skin crawl and has made me permanently more cautious on the dating market.

I'm not going to publish a moment-by-moment recount. Maybe I will one day, if I feel brave enough. But I'm going to touch upon it enough so that you understand why I normally don't feel included in the discussion or why pop culture doesn't ever portray sexual assault in a way that brings about flashbacks.

• It wasn't violent
• It was someone I was actively dating
• It was someone I had been friends with first, and trusted
• It wasn't an arrogant jock, but a nerd
• He wasn't tall or muscular, I could have put up a physical fight
• It was in my flat, I had the territorial control
• I wasn't drunk or under the influence
• I was conscious
• I explicitly said no
• But that explicit no was to an act within sex
• Not only did we have an active sexual relationship, but we were having sex at the time
• A sex act that is mainstream, and one that men get praised for when they do (you know what I'm talking about, surely). 
• I just froze and my mind went blank
• I even continued dating him

I spent the next year of my life living in skin that was constantly crawling. I was frustrated. Angry. I had negative emotions that I didn't know how to deal with. But I internalised it. I still thought that I should have repeated my no. Or punched him. Or not had sex at all that night. It took me a year to have my moment where I realised none of what happened had been my fault. That I froze up and couldn't make sense of what was happening (never mind muster up a comeback). All the blame lies with him. He ignored a verbal no. That is not grey area. That is not 'could have read between the lines better' or 'be less creepy in a nightclub'. That is assault.

But despite that, I still feel like my story doesn't count. That some people have it worse. That some people never heal. That some people never have sex again. That some people got asked what they were wearing or why they drank so much. That they were violently attacked by a man jumping out an alleyway.

It's probably because I've never watched a sexual assault story line that depicts what I experienced. I even ignore content and trigger warnings because I'm never impacted by assault on the telly. My assault was quite mundane, and probably wouldn't make good telly.

But Polly's writing did hit hard. Because it included my story. Okay, not my actual story because this is the first time I've publicly shared it, but it felt like if she was going to curate a book with sexual assault stories from various women, she would allow mine to be included.

[End Trigger Warning]

She also says intelligent things about how we end sexual assault and rape. It's not about tougher sentencing, or changing the law. It's hard to win a sexual assault case because it comes down to one person's experience versus another. Some people who have committed sexual assault don't even realise they've done so because society still can't make up its collective mind about what consent actually is.

Personally, I think consent should be this. Communicate with your partner, even if it's a super casual thing. Don't act like some sex acts are better than others, or even that some sex acts are 'feminist'. Respect that sexual pleasure is a very personal thing, and that your new partner might not like getting fucked exactly the same way your ex did. Learn to read between the lines and recognise when someone isn't moaning or screaming in pleasure. Check in with them. Know the difference between someone who has had one or two drinks, and someone who has had an entire bottle of wine. Don't bring anything new into the bedroom without having a discussion about it first, while fully clothed. Understand that women have been programmed socially to be people-pleasers and struggle with the word no, and that shit is hard to unlearn. Realise that sleeping people can't give consent. And that consent can be withdrawn at anytime. Don't coerce either, that is also bad.

Is that really too much to ask for?

So, do I recommend Hot Feminist by Polly Vernon? No, not really. While I'm happy to photocopy that one chapter and plaster it around town until we all agree on what assault is and isn't, I won't recommend wasting your breath on the rest of the book. Save yourself a headache.

If you've spoken to me in the last two months about films, you'll know I'm going through a 90s phase. Specifically, films aimed at 90s teenagers who I was born a decade later than.

One of those films was Election. A 1999 dark comedy starring Matthew Broderick and a young Reese Witherperson as they fight their way through a high school election. Tracy Flick, Witherspoon's character and main antagonist, is that high school brown-noser we have all known. She is top of her class, always shoves her hand up first, is involved in multiple extra-curricular activities and feels entitled to success. She also struggles to make friends because no one can stand her.

We have all known a Tracy Flick

She's a character that is definitely interesting from a feminist angle, and I could feel my brain performing some critical analysis while I was listening. Turns out I'm not the only one. Even though the film was released before the internet was mainstream, many articles have been written on her character, posing the same question I'm asking with this blog. Journalists even compared her to Hillary Clinton (and Chris Klein's character, Paul, to Barrack Obama - more on that later). This is even despite the film being a box office bomb (but acclaimed by critics).

Tracy definitely wasn't scared of any glass ceiling. Which sadly, even in 2017, is still something to applaud and admire. She worked out the value of hard work very young, thanks to an encouraging (even slightly zealous) mother. I didn't do badly in school, but I definitely could have applied myself more than I did and taken a leaf out of Tracy's book. She was willing to go above and beyond to get good grades and plump out her college application - embarrassingly I didn't realise that a willingness to go the extra mile was one of the secrets to success until I started full-time work. We can learn a lot from the ambitious Tracy's of the world.

But reading all the required texts and putting 120% in every essay she wrote wasn't the only tactic Tracy was using. Tracy was also felt entitled to success and was willing to stick her elbows out to get it (sh'd be a textbook Capitalist Feminist). When she first finds out that Paul Metzler is running against her (she was previously running unopposed) she storms over to his election table and demands to know why. We see clips of her in the classroom where she isn't allowing other students the chance to speak. If you've seen the film, you'll know the scene where she rips down her opponents posters in the school halls in a fit of rage. All because two people chose to run against her.

I want to live in a world where women get ahead as equally and easily as men. I'm under no illusion that this is not yet the case. But I also want to live in world where people get ahead and promoted based on talent and hard work - and not because they ripped down someone else's campaign posters or stuck a straw up the manager's ass.

Tracy is also a job snob 

This quote probably sums up her attitude perfectly:

Now that I have more life experience, I feel sorry for Mr. McAllister. I mean, anyone who's stuck in the same little room, wearing the same stupid clothes, saying the exact same things year after year for his whole life, while his students go on to good colleges, move to big cities and do great things and make loads of money... He's got to be at least a little jealous. 

Since when is teaching seen as a low-level job? It requires a lot of training and is an important role that society requires. Ambitious Tracy types require good educators to get the ball rolling. As I get older and have more life experience, I've become even more disconnected with the idea that there are "real job" and "jobs". Or that being an underachiever or non-ambitious is a bad character trait.

We also see her at the end of the film working with a politician: a Republican no less. Ahem.

But let's take a step back from looking at Tracy as an individual and look at her place in wider society - and how that society influences her behaviour. Sexism still exists in schools and workplaces, and women do need to fight harder to be heard and get ahead. Tracy perhaps knew this and adjusted her behaviour to suit. Here is another quote from the film:

You might think it upset me that Paul Metzler had decided to run against me, but nothing could be further from the truth. He was no competition for me, it was like apples and oranges. I had to work a little harder, that's all. You see, I believe in the voters. They understand that elections aren't just popularity contests. They know this country was built by people just like me who work very hard and don't have everything handed to them on a silver spoon. Not like some rich kids who everybody likes because their fathers own Metzler Cement and give them trucks on their 16th birthday and throw them big parties all the time. No, they don't ever have to work for anything. They think they can just, all of a sudden, one day out of the blue, waltz right in with no qualifications whatsoever and try to take away what other people have worked for VERY, VERY hard for their entire lives! No, didn't bother me at all!

While this quote also demonstrates how self-entitled Tracy is, it shows how socially aware she is. She recognises that not everyone is born equal and how successful someone becomes is largely down to accident of birth. I'll speak more on Paul Metzler later, but he wasn't very ambitious but was a likeable good-looking white guy from a rich family - the demographic that gets a head start as soon as they're born.

Then there is the capitalism system that we work within. It encourages a survival of the fittest mentality, so it's no surprise people sharpen their elbows for success. Especially if they belong to a disenfranchised group.

Remember, this film was made in 1997 long before feminism and social justice were mainstream topics. Tracy was already recognising inequality that wouldn't get widely spoken about until two decades later. Girl was ahead of her time - and a little feminist shall I say.

But she isn't the only character worth speaking about from a feminist angle 

Throughout the film Broderick's character, Jim, tries to sabotage her election (and future career) success. He's otherwise popular with the students, but he has a long term grudge against Tracy. Part of this is because she's annoying. But the other part is her student-teacher affair with Jim's best friend, Dave. Dave lost his job and wife because of the affair but Tracy got off unharmed and her involvement in the scandal remained a secret.

Statutory rape is statutory rape. Tracy may have been a willing participant (as it was depicted in the film) but teachers shouldn't be finding students who haven't finished puberty attractive. It's not said on camera, but Dave looked like he was in the late 30s or early 40s - what on earth someone in that age bracket would find attractive in a teenager I do not know.

Jim then goes on a mission to ruin Tracy's future. He is the one who talks popular Paul into running in the first place. He even throws away pro-Tracy ballot papers so that Paul can win the election. I don't like Tracy Flicks as much as the next Jim, but I've never tried to stop one from getting ahead. By trying to sabotage her election chances he was proving himself to not be any better than her.

And then there's Paul Metzler (said I'd eventually get to him) 

The media compared Barrack Obama to Paul Metzeler in 2008. Obama is definitely likeable and probably does have a better moral compass than most other politicians, but he wasn't exactly experienced when he first ran for President. Hilary Clinton (and even Sarah Palin) was definitely more qualified.

But my favourite character in the whole thing? Paul's sister, Tammy. She also runs for Class President to spite her secret ex-lover, Lisa, who starts dating Paul and becomes his campaign manager (that's one awkward love triangle, though Paul isn't aware).



Because she's right. My experience of pupil councils at school (I was even on it during my fourth year) is that they don't really change anything and people only run to impress universities. I wasn't that heavily involved in school extra-curricular activities but I was heavily involved in societies at university - and I'm not even going to deny that I was looking for CV boosters (and a way to avoid coursework).

Honestly, Tammy Metzler is probably the only feminist role model in the entire film (in a weird way).

Because my ex told me I'd have to take his surname ('when' we got married, not if) and I wasn't allowed to keep the Ms salutation I'd used before meeting him (though I was allowed to get a PhD and become a Dr). 

Because my mum insists on putting the surname of boys I date after my first name, even though I've repeatedly insisted I'd keep my current name.

Ditto on the issue on grandkids.

Because Cheryl Cole continues to be known professionally by the surname of her first husband and people seem to think this is blaspheme (it's her name, Ashley doesn't own the surname Cole).

Because when I took Graphic Communication for Standard Grade I would get asked with a screwed up face "are you not like the only girl in the class?"

Because the only guy who took a cooking class was asked why he wanted to do a girls course.

Because how safe I feel in a club still determines how much I'll recommend it to someone else.

Because when the news travelled back to school that someone who had left two years earlier was transitioning I was one of the few people who were cool with it and began using the correct name and pronouns.

Because a lot of people still don't think things like bisexual and asexual are real (despite the evidence).

Because I can't seem to have a male friend without people asking if we're dating.

Because I'd like to see unisex toilets within my lifetime.

Because the diet industry customer base is primarily women.

Because a lot of these diets are based on aesthetics and not health or even fucking science.

Because I know a lot of women who are on these diets who don't need to lose weight.

Because when I wear something nice there's always someone who thinks its for men (usually men).

Because I have purposefully dressed myself down in the presence of some of these men (because who wants to look attractive in front of a pervert?).

Because when I bought a nice jumper with my Christmas money my mum asked who I was trying to attract (I put her in her place, the best way any 13 year old can with some good foot stamping but I stand by it).

Because I know women who can't leave the house without make-up.

Because growing up Bliss Magazine provided me with more of a sex education than my school or my parents.

Because comprehensive sex education is one of the first issues I really cared about and seven years after I left school it doesn't look like it's any better.

Because Christian Grey is seen as a dreamboat.

Because Edward Cullen is seen as a dreamboat.

Because I tend to date men of the geeky or metrosexual persuasion and I'm often asked 'why don't you date a real man?' (usually asked by macho men).

Because when I watched Sex & The City at age 23 I actually fist-pumped at the screen when they frankly discussed female sexuality.

Because when I asked my mum as a young child why she wore a wedding ring but my dad didn't her response was 'just cause men have the option'.

Because I've crossed the street to avoid wolf whistling.

Because when I got frustrated at one of my then-boyfriend's constant attention I was told by onlookers it was 'cute' and 'devotion'. It was actually keeping me in a box.

Because it took me almost four years after the split to own my experiences and say that the relationship was unhealthy. And that I'm relieved I got out.

Because quite a few men I've been *ahem* intimate with have tried to dictate to me what kind of contraceptive choices I should make about my own body.

Because young person sexual health clinics exists as 'judgement free areas' when teenagers should be free to go to their GP without fear of judgement.

Because there are still people (even in my generation) who still act shocked/unimpressed/confused when they find out I had a stay at home dad and a working mum.

Because I've known a recruitment consultant who admits he considers the parental status of a woman more than a man.

Because I was concerned with being considered sexy when I was an underage teenager.

Because we still have boobs in a national newspaper.

Because lists stating which countries are safe for women travelling alone still exist.

Because lists stating which countries are safe for gay people still exist.

Because body hair removal is optional for men but mandatory for women.

Because some private schools don't allow boys to have long hair.

Because private schools still exist which helps fuel the old boys club.

Because 77% of UK MPs are male.

Because in Scotland women only make up 36% of public boards, less than 35% of MSPs and 24% of councillors.

Because girls who attend a single sex school are more likely to take up a STEM subject than a girl who attends a coeducational school.

Because it's still not respected that period pain can really stop women in their tracks.

Because in the UK sanitary wear is still taxed as a luxury item.

Because in developing nations sanitary wear isn't a thing and girls have to miss school whilst menstruating (or sit in a hut).

Because there are still countries out there where women can't vote. Or drive.

Because circumcision of genitalia still happens to children (for no health reason) who are too young to consent.

Because this time last year the world was already getting excited for the men's world cup but no one seems to realise the women's world cup is this summer.

Because I'm one of the few people I know who will call it the Mens World Cup and the Womens World Cup, not the 'World Cup' and the other one...

Because cheerleading is sexualised in the media and not seen as a serious sport. Or even a sport. Even by feminists (this feminist is a former cheerleader and I'm yet to come across an argument I can't overthrow).

Because all the UK netball teams are some of the best in the world right now but no one seems to know...

Because Andy Murry wasn't the first Briton to win Wimbledon in 77 years. 

Because I know women (plural) - my age - who have said they don't think women's sport is the same or is 'a bit of a joke'.

Because when I showed someone the leaflet for a open software day I was attending he asked if I was attending cause the flyer had cute little bunnies on it.

Because I'm sometimes hesitant to attend Android events, or Ingress events or Comic-Con because I have been talked down to at these events before (despite being into these hobbies as much as any man).

Because a lot of the hate towards 'fake geek girls' comes from other girls.

Because GamerGate.

Because Bring Back Our Girls had to exist.

Because last year the UK banned a bunch of things from porn, this included female ejaculation and face-sitting.

Because the animal rights movement is rife with sexism (hello PETA) and vegan feminists have been accused of not being real vegans (because we don't support PETA).

Because the videos made by Laci Green still need to be made.

Because I shamefully used the word slut until I was 14 and it was Christina Aguilera who pointed out how hypocritical the word is.

Because instead of society dropping the word slut we instead had to work to reclaim it.

Because I recognised sexual inequality before I came across the word feminist.

Because any woman who is also LGBT, working class, disabled, non-white, an immigrant, or follows a religion not common in her country faces a double whammy of discrimination (and intersectional feminism is only just getting on the agenda).

Because patriarchy doesn't just hurt women. It hurts men who dare to not fit the alpha male stereotype, gay people, trans and non-binary individuals, and anyone else hurt by any kind of inequality. It exists to support a few privileged (and powerful) individuals.

Happy International Women's Day, y'all! 

On International Women's Day last year I listed some of the reasons I'm a feminist.

This post went on to become one of my most popular to date. But sadly within this past year more shitty sexists things have happened (or things I forgot to mention last year) and I'm back with yet more fucking personal anecdotes as to why feminism is still required.

And I'm only touching on stuff that has personally affected me, I'm not even touching upon the bullshit that goes on around the world.

Recruiters still consider a female's motherhood status
This isn't based on a gut feeling or something I read online. I know this is still an issue because a recruitment consultant I have known (in the past, thankfully) admitted to my (female) face that he would still consider a candidates family background, and yes a man has a bigger chance because 'statistically' it means he's less likely to job hop but a mother is more likely to  have days off because wee Charlie came down with a cold.

This punches me somewhere where it hurts because my dad took early retirement for health reasons whilst I was young and my mum's salary became the only salary. Thankfully my mum works in a female dominated field (nursing) so she was able to move through the ranks and earn a high enough salary for all three of us, but my life could have been very different if she was in a male dominated industry.

Girls who don't need to lose weight, thinking they do
The only guys I've ever known to go on a diet have been guys that were overweight and needed to shift weight for health reasons. But I have known perfectly healthy girls of average weight who have managed to get it into their heads that calorie counting is a fun past time.

Guys trying to undermine my personal contraceptive choices 
If you were to split my past 'partners' down the middle one half wrapped up with no issue - didn't even need to remind them, had their own one to hand etc. The other half however gave me anecdotes of it not feeling as pleasurable or pointed to the pill packet on my bedside table. I'm well aware I take the pill but 1) I don't know where the fuck you've been and 2) I've always doubled up my contraception because it makes me feel safer and since I'm the half of this tango that would be left with the aftermath of the pill failing I have the right to demand you either wrap up or get out (and I have walked out before).

Because my natural body shape elicits pregnancy questions
I collect weight on my stomach - this is my body shape and always has been (even as a child). But society seems to think that any woman with weight around her stomach must be pregnant and not, you know, just because that's where she naturally collects weight.

I've put on weight this past year and it was only as I was beginning to accept my curvier figure that BOOM I got asked if I was pregnant.

I don't fancy 'real men'
To give you an idea of the kind of guys I've dated:
1. One of my ex boyfriends weighed less than me, and it wouldn't surprise me if the rest did too
2. The only serious celebrity crush I've had was on the guy who played Craig Dean in Hollyoaks (a character who went on to become gay)
3. When out with a guy I was dating I looked down and realised we were dressed the same from below the waist
4. Despite finishing puberty, most of them couldn't grow a beard if they tried
5. If I'm in their bathroom and discover a beauty cabinet that rivals my own I do a fist pump

I mock my own taste in boyish men a lot - but plenty of masculine men (including the few manly men I have dated) can't quite hack the fact that I'm allowed to find a 'pansy' (direct quote) more attractive than them.

Girls think that Noah (or whatever his name was) from The Notebook is the ideal man
Girls, if a guy threatens to fall off a Ferris wheel unless you agree to a date this shouldn't be seen as romantic but as a sign he belongs in a psychiatric ward. I've mentioned before that I've been on the receiving end of this down right creepy behaviour, and it's definitely not romantic when it's real life and it's you who's feeling threatened and claustrophobic. But as long as Hollywood portrays this as gush-worthy then these creepy fuckers will continue to exist.

Single equals consent
I went to The Cathouse on Valentine's Day and lost count of the amount of creepy guys I was ready to punch. Because if you go out on Valentine's Day with a female friend you're marking yourself out as single and with the knowledge there's no boyfriend about to punch their lights out the creeps come out in the droves.

I know females who will lie about being spoken for in these situations. I don't lie, which usually causes more problems, but I maintain that I shouldn't have to lie and that guys should just learn not to be creepy assholes.

A lot of my closest friends are men (and that's weird)
If you're a guy with opposite sex friends you're gay or a player. If you're a girl with opposite sex friends you're a slut, desperate for attention or so bitchy even other girls want nothing to do with you. Can we cut this sexist bullshit and accept that 1) not all men want to fuck every girl within the room and 2) women don't need male attention to feel good about themselves?

The reason for me counting some of the male species within my BFFs? It's just the way my life panned out.

Cheerleading is undermined as some fetish or some sexy past time for the male gaze
Thanks to American TV cheerleading is stereotyped as some sexy girls cheering on the sidelines whilst some macho men throw a ball about. What cheerleading is is a very physically demanding sport, has it's own championships and competitions (meaning it fits the definition of a sport), mixed-sex and doesn't encourage eating disorders (you try putting your body through this if you live off salads) or expect girls to look a certain way.

Women's sport as a whole
When Andy Murry won Wimbledon the world forgot that some British women hadn't done too shabby in it. Scotland's women football team have been doing better than their male counterparts for years and if England want to win a world cup they could redirect the funding and support from that damn football team (who, let's be honest, won't win the World Cup any time soon) towards one of their teams who are always so so so close to winning but never quite make it. But who cares about netball anyway?

Guys think sex is over when they've came
I'll come off the market when I find a guy who doesn't just roll over and go to sleep when he's done.

And as a final note on International Women's Day, and all other days dedicated to discriminated groups in society, if you want them to go away then be part of the fight for equality. I don't want International Women's Day to exist just as much of some misogynist don't want it to (though for different reasons). As long as the things listed above remain a problem with my life, and society as a whole, I'll continue to post something like this every year.

Morag x