Is ASMR a sexual fetish? Well, no

Sometimes before I go to bed, I like to watch videos on YouTube of girls whispering into a camera while role-playing. These role-plays can be visits to the dentist, sometimes it's a nurse or maybe a hairdresser. Occasionally I watch boys too, but I've always preferred the female videos. These videos cause me to feel tingles. 

When I say it like that, you would presume I'm opening up about a sexual fetish. But to someone who hasn't heard of ASMR - or has but doesn't experience it - that's exactly what it could look like. A pretty girl pretending to be a nurse whispering into a camera does sound like the start of a very bad porno. 

But ASMR is a relaxation tool and these tingles I spoke about happen in my head, not...you know, lower in my body. The fact that they are sometimes referred to as a 'brain orgasm' doesn't help either. 

If you are someone who doesn't experience ASMR and is trying to get your head around it, I hope this post helps you understand it a bit more. Or at least understand that it is not sexual, at least not by default. 

(As a note, I know some people who watch ASMR videos would rather be caught watching porn. While the situation would be embarrassing, at least it would be easier to explain.) 

While ASMR as a 'trend' only took off in the last few years, I've been experiencing it my whole life. I have vivid memories of gentle tingles travelling down my head when a teacher would help me with a maths problem, or during an eye test. But on the flip side, I haven't experienced sexual attraction my whole life. That didn't kick in until I headed off to high school. 

Most people who experience ASMR will share a similar anecdote. We had these tingles our entire life, long before we encountered - shall we say - 'tingles' of the other variety. 

I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak on behalf of my own experience. When I watch ASMR videos I feel these gentle tingles in my head and ears. When I'm 'turned on' it's not my head where I feel the tingles, it's a much lower part of my body. And the sensation is different. The tingles from ASMR are relaxing and dream like. I'm not sure about anyone else, but when I'm sexually aroused I wouldn't call myself relaxed.

ASMR sends people to sleep, porn does not

Someone who creates adult films for a living would be offended if they found out people were falling asleep during their creations. The purpose of adult films are to arouse and excite. Whereas most ASMR videos are designed to help people relax and even fall asleep. Some insomniacs swear by them.

When someone tells you they are away for a massage you don't automatically wink at them and say "Oh, a massage eh?". Massages are used for relaxation or health purposes, but it involves someone running their hands along your bare skin (sometimes with ointments). And in the privacy of people's own homes massage can be a sensual act used as part of foreplay, or for general intimacy. But we still don't think of massages of being intrinsically sexual. 

ASMR can be thought of similarly. The end goal is ultimately the same (relaxation, help with anxiety and sleep problems) but it can look sexual to the untrained eye. 

And I'm not hear to shut them down. They have their own place in the world, and if these videos are what turns an individual on then that's it. I'm not here to tell someone what they should or shouldn't be turned on by - just as long as they're not leaving dirty comments on ASMR videos that aren't designed to be sexual. 

Similarly to massage, ASMR can be sexual - or it can be a relaxation tool. The same way whipped cream can be for decorating a cake or can be for licking off your partner's body. Even genitalia isn't always used sexually: a penis is also for urinating and a vagina is where babies enter the world. 

ASMR - like many things - doesn't fit into black or white boxes where everything is either 100% sexual or completely void of any sexual purpose. A lot of it is down to the individual and their personal desires, plus the situation.

However ASMR is not porn and isn't sexual by default. So the next time someone informs you that they use ASMR to relax, take it at face value and don't assume you've been given some insight into what they jerk off to in their bedroom.