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Things I Love Thursday #4

This one will be a quick one as I partake in Abertay Jailbreak this Saturday!!!

And this one will be dedicated to something in particular that I've spotted in the past few weeks.

No longer being embarrassed of my past
And no, there is no sordid stories to tell ;) Simply that I was a very shy school girl (and first year student) and when I came to university everyone was talking about trips to Ibiza they'd been on and how many of their school friends they would miss. I didn't have any stories. Not because I didn't want any but simply because I had been too shy to go out and make these things happen. It used to embarrass me, partly because I was jealous, and led me to exaggerate my teenage years. These days I just admit I was shy when people ask me for my teenage drinking stories and that the reason I only kept in contact with one person from school was simply because she was the only true friend I had. Partially this reason is because since then my confidence has grown sky-high and is something to be envied. I've now done things that most people never will and some things are very impressive when you consider me age. Three continents before I could even buy alcohol? Done. Run a charity event? In process. Performed at an event with a famous person? Check. A lot of people laugh when they're told how shy I used to be.

And the most important thing that makes me not regret my past? It has given me a greater understanding of how shy people operate. I know the difference between a shy person and a rude person (most of the time). And that a lot of shy people just want you to start the conversation - you could make some great friendships this way!

Morag x
morag | mo adore
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A Single Girl's Take: Why I Don't Hate Valentine's Day

I know this is two days late and you know why that reason may be? Because I had better things to do on Valentine's Day than sit around and moan about how terminally unfair it all is.

I'm single. And in terms of being single on Valentine's Day I haven't been so in three years. Yep, first single valentine's day in three years. First one since my school years in fact.

In the month leading up to this I thought it would be hard to get through. I haven't been single on Valentine's in ages. Plus, both my ex-boyfriend's have new girlfriends and I even got left for one of these girls. But on the eve of Valentine's Day 2011 I decided to fuck it!

I don't hate being single so why do should I hate it on this particular day? The last time I was single properly (which was almost 18 years) I didn't hate - only on Valentine's Day.

Part of this revelation came from seeing the negative status about Valentine's Day popping up. This provided a mirror reflection. Why do we hate Valentine's Day simply if we don't have someone? Why do we hate being single?

I think it's down to insecurity and a lack of love for yourself.

Letting your self-worth be decided on whether or not someone else is in love with you. Rather than if you love yourself. Don't have someone special? Celebrate how awesome you are. Share your love for your family. You may not be in a relationship, but you still have other relationships that need to be nourished. Including the one you have with yourself. That's the most important one. Lovers and friends may come and go but the one constant relationship you'll have is the one with yourself. Therefore it needs to be maintained.

Moaning about being single is a sign of insecurity. The insecurity that no one else loves you enough to be yours. And insecurity ain't attractive. For me a guy moaning about being single is a deal-breaker. I'm put right off. I want a guy that's secure in his own shoes; with his own ambitions and life. A lover should "compliment you, not complete you - you should be complete first". The guy I was seeing last month moaned about being single every second day - he even seemed to think it was a universal thing. It put me off. When I'm pursued by a guy I want it to be because he thinks I'm the best girl in the world and thinks I'd compliment his life perfectly, not because he has some empty void in his life that he thinks I'll fill by agreeing to go out with him. My heart is worth more than that.

So what did my first single Valentine's Day in three years consist of? Helping with a charity bake sale for my university's RAG society, a library session for my class test next Thursday and then watching Anchorman at my university cinema, again for charity. Then ended the day at my Student's Union with some male friends practising our Ahh-ooo chants for the cinema showing of 300 on Thursday (mine was rather girly).

I'm not going to lie, when I'm in a relationship I like to mark it and my ideal guy would do so too. But when I'm single I just get on it it. It's one day. And I have a successful relationship with myself so why should it bother me that I'm not in a relationship?

It doesn't. And it shouldn't bother you either. So instead of weeping when you walk past the stuffed toys on your weekly shop how about you just grin about the fact that you're saving money by not buying anyone anything and go out and reap the benefits of being single.

Morag x
morag | mo adore
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Things I Love Thursday #3

So since I missed last week's let's make this one extra special ;)

Running Into Your Ex At Just The Right Moment
And by right moment I mean when you're prancing around in a cheerleading suit after a good week with people he doesn't know (popularity, eh? and if I had been with people who know him there would have been death stares). Plus my body and looks have changed since our split (for the best). I don't think he was the best influence in terms of health - he was a smoker and while I didn't take up smoking during our relationship I did develop that caffeine addiction while we were together which was probably his weak willpower rubbing off on me and he felt that vegetarianism (which starting I have felt loads better) was "unnatural" (because smoking is?) so naturally my looks have improved (but he doesn't have to know that's down to a strict diet and loads more water).

Genuinely Getting Along With Someone When You Thought You'd Struggle
Recently I've began to genuinely get along with someone when I thought it would be awkward (even if we didn't get along genuinely we would have to for "professional" reasons). I can't say much on here due to privacy issues but lets just say it taught me that you shouldn't judge people on who they know and that everyone absorbs situations and experiences differently - there's never just one side to every story ;)

Having A Job Where Your Opinions Are Valued 
My job in my Careers Development Office is going great! Every suggestion I make is taken on seriously. Not just am I in somewhat control of their social media I also get to make suggestions on their room layout and how to let students know about the events on offer!

Being Ahead of What's In The Know
You may have noticed that I am actively involved in various activities in my university and one of the reasons I like to get involved is because it means I am informed of what's happening quicker than everyone else. I'm usually the person my friend's rely on for information! And it means I don't miss out and I am usually picked to help and attend before anyone else gets a foot in.

Getting Full Marks For An Essay
And by essay I mean a 500 word reflective piece on the challenges of learning a new language in a short space of time (Greek, in my case). But to receive full marks next to grades that were maybe less than perfect (my mind was elsewhere during exam week) really lifted my mood.

My Growing Blog
I attempted another blog last summer but because I did not put enough effort into it, it never got off the ground and to this day it doesn't have a single comment. However this one is slowly growing and I have comments and followers :) I'm hardly playing with the big boys quite yet but to receive just a small amount of comments when my last one received zero means so much and really brightens my day :)

Morag x
morag | mo adore
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Online Life vs Offline Life

I've been into sharing information on the internet in some form or another since I was fourteen. Originally through MSN Spaces (mine is now deleted) but grew into Myspace, Bebo, various message boards, DeviantART, Livejournal and Vox before growing into the Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Blogger and Flickr combination I have today. Back then nobody was really into these things; everyone was into getting drunk in the street while nerds like me stayed in and learnt how to make hearts fall from their MySpace profiles (tacky-ness ahoy!).

These days it's different: social media is growing to the point where regular non-geeky people now know about it. When I first got Myspace I felt comfortable in the knowledge that not many people I knew offline had it and it gave me a nudge to be my true self. But then it grew. The same happened with Twitter (I now have people I vaguely know offline following me) and the same has just very recently happened with Tumblr.

What I keep asking myself is: do I feel comfortable with people I know offline reading my tweets, viewing my re-blogs on Tumblr or, most importantly, the words on this blog?

If you check out my Twitter you'll notice that nothing is filled in for the Web Address. Reason being: I don't think I want people I know offline to read this. I have no prolem with people who are close to me and know most of these thoughts anyway, but those who I vaguely know? Do I feel comfortable with them knowing my progress with getting over my ex? My experiments with vegetarianisms? My New Years Resolutions? My personal development projects? Maybe not.

I know I don't reveal anything too personal here, but it's still very reflective and sometimes I let my fingers take over my mind while I type. My boundaries are not that high in terms of revealing stuff on in the internet. But I'm aware others are higher. I take photos of myself, reveal my full name and speak about personal thoughts. Others have a private Facebook account and leave it at that. I've mentioned nobody by name here, and when I make reference to past relationships I only reveal them as "most recent ex" and "first boyfriend" - and very few people know that I was seeing someone in January and those who do don't know him personally. But what if they read it personally? I find it unlikely since they are all the types to have only a Facebook (maybe a Bebo floating around) and don't even register on YouTube. And both of my ex's have new girlfriends so for them to sit and Google my name suggests that maybe they should re-evaluate whether they should have new girlfriends yet. But still.

I'm a grown girl who is still part of Generation X. I know that the online world is a big part of modern life and to not have a Facebook hinders you. I also know how to look after myself. I also realise I should not be as naive to think no one will find this blog no matter how well I try and hide it. And that I should never post anything too personal that I am deeply uncomfortable with random people I know being aware of.

The problem that faces me with this is to do with advertising. Should I have a Twitter specifically for my blog and online self? I advertised my blog on Tumblr to my followers there but then people I knew offline started to swarm to Tumblr only about a fortnight later. The debate goes on in my head regularly and is one of the major decisions I will have to make when it comes to my strategy for building this blog (check the business lingo!). 

Not saying I don't want people I know offline to never know of this blog's existence, just while it's still being built up I think I'd prefer to keep it hidden away. Once it's a big thing and maybe develops into a magazine platform then may a time to reveal it.

Morag x
morag | mo adore
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