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2021 round-up / my third post of the year

Whatever 2021 was, it certainly wasn’t the year of blogging. Blogs, as we all know, are on the decline and mine is no exception. As much as I have loved this space over the past eleven years, time does move on and so I have. I’m not planning to walk away officially and still appreciate this space as an occasional dumping ground for thoughts and reviews - but by and large, I’ve turned my attention elsewhere.

So, what have I turned my attention to? Well, not much really if I’m honest. At the start of the year I wrote my usual probably-too-personal-for-my-own-good goals post where I shared with you all that I wasn’t going to make any goals. I had a few small, personal goals tucked away, but nothing particularly lofty and I could count all of them on one hand. 2021 was very much the year of under-achievement, and I’m okay with that. I passed my Professional Diploma in Digital Marketing with a Credit, which obviously is an impressive achievement worth sharing. I continued learning Scottish Gaelic and can now construct my own sentences for Twitter without the help of a dictionary - though I’m still short of the ability to hold a full conversation. 

I also took up Highland Dancing (for the third time in my life) in early autumn, which was not something I planned. I also didn’t know whether I’d re-run for the Glasgow Green Party Committee at the start of the year. I decided not to re-run, and instead put myself forward for the Membership Committee, which I not only got in to but also hoovered up most of the votes (thanks lads!). 

On a very personal level I decided to work on my anxious attachment and move towards secure attachment. This is partly the reason why I scampered off the internet slightly in a bid to live in the moment and accept myself as I am rather than chasing new ideas and skills every year. 

Still quite personal: 2021 was the year that I would seek out professional therapy. I want to make it clear: I’m absolutely fine and not in crisis. I wasn’t even actively looking for a therapist when I accidentally stumbled upon one on Instagram who was straight-talking but compassionate on issues I struggled with. She’s a psychotherapist who runs a group therapy course focused on women who have had a rough ride with relationships: toxic or even abusive relationships, attachment issues, always attracted to bad boys or Peter Pans, etc etc. It’s been eye-opening so far, and it's nice to be in an environment with other people who share my issues and similar thought patterns (while still being held accountable).  

One of the things that we’ve been working on is oversharing, and why we do it. Tbh, my constant online posting hasn’t always come from the best place. I also know how contradictory it might be to write a blog about oversharing, especially since I only recently reigned myself in. That’s why I’m not going to share where my desire to overshare comes from, just that I’m choosing to put better boundaries down online. If you've been hanging about with me for a while you’ll know that after I came out as bisexual I became a chronic oversharer (there’s a bit of a hint as to one reason why I overshare). I have no regrets writing about my coming out story in depth or how I feel as a long term single woman, because that kind of personal oversharing helps people. But I’ve reigned in sharing a 24/7 commentary of my day. If you follow me on Instagram, when was the last time you saw me posting about mundane life admin tasks? I’m willing to bet you probably didn’t notice that I stopped, which a year ago would have been an upsetting thing for my anxious wee heart to accept but I’m ready now.

So how do I feel? Actually quite good. While working through issues definitely opens up wounds and forces you outside your comfort zone, it feels gratifying. Posting less on social media has freed up my time for personal relationships, projects and just general life admin. It's also freed up my brain capacity as I’m not constantly in content mode, and it's allowed me to live in the moment. It still feels a bit uncomfortable and I still have a fear that people will think I’m boring because I’m not sharing every moment online but reminding myself that if people are analysing my online content that intently they should probably consider therapy themselves. 

So what do I want to do with 2022? More of the same I reckon. Carry on with learning Gaelic, perfect my Highland Fling, be calm(er) and work on my photography skills which is the new(ish) skill I’m currently working on. I would invite you along for the ride, but alas I’ll only be sharing occasional updates, which I think is going to be a good thing. 

Love, peace and privacy,

Mòrag x

morag | mo adore
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