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2018: a year where I concentrate on being, rather than doing




They say resolutions aren't meant to be kept.

And, you know what? I kind of agree with whoever 'they' are.

While I have made resolutions that went onto become major lifestyle changes (go vegetarian, stay single until the right person comes along, start a blog) I have made plenty more that have failed. Learn sign language? I can only spell my name. Get a tattoo? Eh. Complete the French Duolingo course? LOL.

But last year was different. At the close of 2017 I had a look at my goals post from the start of the year and was pleased to notice that I stuck to everything. I now have adult finances, I have become better at the difficult conversations, made (mostly) ethical clothing purchases and took it easy.

So what was different? Firstly I only made six goals, which is a lot more attainable than ten (which I have attempted in the past). I also thought wisely about why I wanted to achieve each goal. But mainly: I focused on being rather than doing. 

My goals last year were set on self-improvement and being a better human/friend/family member rather than achieving something impressive. Don't get me wrong, I still did achieve things. I took multiple online courses. I have ROI stats from work that show me putting my new knowledge into action. I travelled to both Berlin and Kenya. I have a pretty impress Batgirl collection now (hey, it's my goals!).

So while I was pondering my goals for 2018 I only shortlisted the goals that met this three-point criteria:

  • The goal slots nicely into my bigger picture. I've known for many years what my ideal life looks like, so I'm concentrating on goals that will move my reality closer to this. If it doesn't improve the wider picture, it's not going on the list. 
  • It's not ridiculously unattainable. It's good to push ourselves, but be honest with yourself. Diets don't work long term. You can't teach yourself another language to the point of fluency if you don't enjoy the process. If you hated the gym for years, you're not going to start loving it now. 
  • Any doing goals will be flexible, and my focus will be on what really matters. I have made some doing goals, but I'm allowing myself permission to change these throughout the year as circumstances evolve. The goals that I'm holding myself to will relate to what really matters - values, personality, heart - and don't rely on circumstances. 
(I realise I have some privilege saying all this. I am 27, have been graduated for five years and I am already working in my chosen field, so I don't need to make many career-orientated doing goals. To any younger readers: keep going with the doing and hit those targets). 

So here it goes. 

1. Don't get complacent when life is going well
If you were to ask me what my favourite personality trait about myself is, it's my ability to treat life's curve balls as a door to something better rather than setback. Nothing gives me more fire than some of life's shittier moments. However, on the flip side, when things are going well for me I put my feet up and everything goes on the back burner. 

And in 2017, that attitude kicked me in the ass both professionally and romantically. 

So, no matter how life is going for my 2018 I vow to never get complacent (but I might need someone to hold me to this). 

2. Work on buying my own home by the time I'm 30
I turned 27 last year and a fear ran over me: what if I'm still in a flat share by the time I'm 30? I have been actively saving/thinking about areas in Glasgow for two years now and, realistically, I won't be in my own flat this year - but I need to make sure I stay on track. 

3. Ditch shitty friendships / think about who my main people are
Years ago (not long before I started my blog) I went through a bad break-up with a shithead and swore to never let my standards to slip so low again. But it was only in the past year that I began to apply the same sort of thinking to my platonic relationships. I'm no longer accepting male friends who make me (or other women) uncomfortable, anyone I feel I have to chase, anyone I don't feel comfortable being my true self with, or anyone who doesn't show the fuck up when life goes to the tits. Plus: quality over quantity. 

4. Find my final few holy grail vegan beauty products
I've been cruelty-free since 2012, which is a massive achievement. And over the years I have found some amazing products that tick all my ethical boxes, but I still have a few holes in my routine. 

If anyone has recommendations for vegan eyebrow products, a day foundation, hair removal, contouring, liquid eyeliner and make-up brushes - hit me up.

5. Be generally better at make-up
This is a doing goal that I have been working on since about, say, September (and it's going well). My make-up skillz are already a jump ahead of what they were at the start of the year (largely because I have now discovered beauty sponges and contouring).

6. Body modifications
When I was 22 I finally decided to screw my parents' opinion on body modifications and got my tragus pierced. Then my bellybutton, and my helix, closely followed by my forward helix. Then I stopped.

There were a combination of reasons, but I never lost the desire to have more piercings. Two weeks ago I got my first piercing in two years (my rook) and hope to add to my collection this year. I might need nudged on this (and who knows: maybe 2018 will be the year I finally do something with the multiple tattoo ideas that have been running around my head since I was 21).

7. Concentrate on high-quality blogging
You might have noticed that I used to blog three times a week, and now only blog when I can. The decision to do this wasn't really a conscious decision; it was just the way life unfolded. But it's worked out well for me, and some of my proudest (and most well-read) posts have been written in the past two years when I was no longer pushing posts out just to tick a weekly quota. I'm definitely going to continue concentrating on creating content that I take my time on and push out when I feel ready.

And by high-quality, I also mean different to what is already out there. I 100% believe that you should blog about what you want to blog about, but if you're blog is a carbon copy of everything else out there I probably lost interest somewhere in March. Personally, my goal with my content this year is to bring something new to table.

8. And I'm going to bring dating, sex and relationships into my blog
I have been fascinated by the topic of sex, relationships and dating since before I even hit puberty. But I was embarrassed and bashful about my interest. I'm saying no more to that and I'm planning to bring in some more content relating to the subject in the next 12 months.

9. Get back into sewing
I debated this one. Sewing is an expensive hobby and I can't always afford to make something new every month, but I'm damn good at it (humble brag). The last time I partook in a big project was my Fifi Pyjamas in 2016 and the results were impressive considering that I didn't have much experience. There's a feeling hovering around me that I could actually have way more skill in this area than I realise, and I could be wasting away a potential talent. We'll see.

10. I don't actually have a tenth goal
But I wanted to round my list up to 10. Symmetry, y'all.

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I love a goal and new year's resolution, so let me know in the comments what yours are! 


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